after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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