I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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