Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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