Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
