Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
