Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
