Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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