Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
