Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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