Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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