I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
