goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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