Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
