Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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