I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
