do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
