K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
