two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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