Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
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Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
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I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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