i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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