I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
