Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
