You're completely useless in the revolution.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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