didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
