here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize