Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
