just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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