how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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