4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
