Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
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i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
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Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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