i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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