I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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