just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
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all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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