Three words: puerto rican gang bang
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
