to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
