My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
