i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
