Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
