its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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