There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize