Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
foreskin is a definite game changer
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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