So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
