Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
