summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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