Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
