ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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