Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me