Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??