real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You ruined the universe