How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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