I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
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He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
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You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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