her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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