Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize