I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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