He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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