how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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