you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
