i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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