I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
