actually, I'm a sock model
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
