your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
