Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize