The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize