well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
