what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
