how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
