I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
