Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
