meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
