If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
